i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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