apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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