I want to stick my p in your. b.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize