ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
