i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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