We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
