R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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