So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
not ubering you a puppy
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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