Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
