You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
