Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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