he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
