it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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