I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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