That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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