The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
