Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
