We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize