I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize