I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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