Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
