I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
