I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
