He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
