well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize