That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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