hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
