You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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