what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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