I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
