He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
