there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
