so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
