i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Life is so much better after having sex.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
