yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
