No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
