My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
birth control should be required to get into college
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Mom said you looked used
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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