Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
