just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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