I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
