remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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