she was so not down for the gang bang
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
