I am puke
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
