Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
