stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
