I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
