therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
