yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
