Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Randomize
