If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
