I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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