I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
