You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
