If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
