I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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