summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
