Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
